Memories Matter

In Barnabas we talk a lot about stopping the cycle; stop the cycle of abuse, stop the cycle of rage, stop the cycle of passiveness, stop the cycle of family secrets. Today I challenge you to keep the cycle going; the cycle of special memories and cherished experiences.

When I was growing up my Dad introduced me to adventure almost every weekend. When I was five years old, it started in a “boat house” on Lake Dallas. It was a small tin structure with one boat stall. He gave me a little stool and a cane pole and told me to watch the red and white bobber. His instructions went something like this;

"When the bobber goes under the water, pull up the pole.
It's that simple."

I spent hours mesmerized by the bouncing bobber and ecstatic over every little fish I caught.

So is it any surprise, that all I wanted for my birthday last weekend was to take my grandsons to the lake. Some dear friends gave us the use of their lake house (a vast improvement from the boat stall) and after a quick trip to Walmart, we were set with life jackets and fishing gear. Back at the house, we had our first fishing lesson on the deck.

“Hold the rod like this, push the black button and when the bobber hits the water, turn the handle on the reel one turn and sit and wait.”

About dusk we went out in the boat and didn’t even have a nibble. The boys were so cute and determined. Fearing they would become discouraged, the next day I texted the owner of the house and asked if it was possible to catch the little brim or small “bait” around the boat pier. He instructed me to buy smaller hooks and tear the worms into small pieces. Getting worm under my manicured nails and having worm blood squirt all over my hands is solid proof of my love for our boys.

Within 2 minutes those little fish were grabbing at the bait. I wish I could describe the excitement and celebration that occurred as they reeled in their “first catch.

Following in my Dad’s footsteps, we went swimming in the deep part of the lake and I let them steer the boat and ride the big tube behind the boat. After wearing them out for the second day in a row, we had a big dinner and watched Airbud on TV. They slept like babies and I fell asleep grateful for my Dad and grateful for the blessing of handing down the gifts once given to me.

What memories do you want to pass on to your kids/grand-kids/other family or friends?

Are you willing to take time away and be truly present? No constant emails, texting or other distractions?

What is it you hope to instill into these relationships that they can pass on through generations?

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Flight 1296 To Dallas Is Now Boarding

“Flight 1296 to Dallas is now boarding at gate six.” Little did I know that twenty two years ago today those words would be the beginning of a brand new life. On July 10, 1990 Anne Broyles and I boarded a plane with two small children, Eva and Ricardo Cervantes. We met the children at an orphanage in Piedras Negras, Mexico and made arrangements to bring Ricardo to Dallas for a psychiatric evaluation.

The children sat speechless for most of the flight. They had never been outside of Mexico, never seen an airport and certainly never flown on an airplane. After arriving in Dallas they experienced more new sights as we drove past tall buildings on paved streets in an air conditioned car. In preparation for the kids arrival a good friend took her nieces and nephews to Toys R Us and bought a car load of toys to welcome them to America. The term, “culture shock” was evident as we pulled in the driveway and the kids got out of the car. They walked by the toys and into the house without saying a word.

Our first night was interesting and probably a little crazy for them as I repeated the only Spanish I knew, “Cómo te llamas? (What is your name) and Cuántos años tiene usted? (How old are you.) I wanted them to be comforted by hearing their language but they probably thought I was pretty strange asking them questions over and over again knowing I already knew the answers.

July 10, 2012 became the first day of a miraculous journey with two children that would eventually become the loves of my life. On this special day I want to express my deepest gratitude to the hundreds of you who helped raise, support and care for little Eva and Ricardo Cervantes.

The years have seen great joy and pain I could not have imagined. But the love exchanged between a lost little girl, a troubled little boy and a community of angels has been, to me, God’s amazing portrait of true love and grace beyond measure.

What could be happening in your life today that might change all your tomorrows?

How can you be a part of helping someone else who cannot do it alone?

If you are that “someone” who needs help, ask for it. You never know how you will see God show up in the lives of other loving people.

Happy Anniversary Eva and Ricardo!
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This morning I was thinking about my grandsons. I want to take them to do something big and fun this summer. I started checking the “get away” deals on Groupon. Four days at a family resort outside of Austin or San Antonio sounded perfect! A beautiful hotel, a kids program, a kids pool that was like a real beach… WOW. Unfortunately these were a little pricy so I began looking at other options… Sea World, Six Flags, a Ranger game, a short trip to Texoma…still not within my budget constraints.

As I sat with my reality I began thinking about what was fun for them. They are barely 5 & 6 years old. Today, they like playing Legos, swimming in a cheap plastic pool we bought for the back yard, watching a movie snuggled in my arms, hot dogs on the grill, finding doodle bugs and playing in the sprinkler. Too soon these childhood memories will be gone and replaced with Six Flags, Sea World, Rangers games, riding Seedos and going to Colorado. In one or two years I’ll have to beg them to sit in my lap. Playing in the back yard will probably give way to playing with friends, computer games and organized sports. I am going to miss holding them in my arms. In just a few short years, spending the weekend with Mimi will not be such a celebrated event.

So, perhaps God’s sweet whisper to me this morning is to savor this irreplaceable season with my grandsons and remember what they really need. They need my presence which speaks to them over and over again saying, “Oh how I love you. You are the best! Look at how smart you are. I want to be with you. I am not going to leave you.”

The larger truth of this story is that all of us still need this message. What are we doing in our life to experience God’s presence? Is email, Facebook, work and running through life blinding us from the truth that all of us long to hear? “My Beloved, oh how I love you. You are the best! Look at how smart you are. I want to be with you. I am not going to leave you.”

Jesus called a little child to his side and set him on his feet in the middle of them all. “Believe me,” he said, “unless you change your whole outlook and become like little children you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven. Matthew 18
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When You Struggle With Resentments

Dear Lord, we want You to find a yielded and quiet spirit within us. To make that happen, we need You to come in like a flood. Occupy us like water filling empty spaces. Occupy reserved portions of our lives where anger is festering and the secret places where grudges are being stored. Sweep through the houses of our hearts . . . don't miss one room or a single area---cleanse every dark closet, look under every rug. Let nothing go unnoticed as You take full control of our motives as well as our actions. Deep within our hearts, sweep us clean of blame and revenge, of self-pity and keeping score. Enable each one of us to be big enough to press on, regardless what unfair treatment we've had to endure. Take away the scars of ugly treatment and harsh words. Keep us from licking our wounds. Forgiveness comes hard . . . but it's essential. Help us forgive, even those who never acknowledge their wrongdoing toward us. Give us peace over turmoil, and erase the memories that keep us offended. We need fresh hope to go on! We ask this in the name of Him who had no sin and did no wrong but died, the just for the unjust: Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Chuck Swindoll 2012

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The Imposter

In Barnabas, we talk about "The Imposter." Richard Rohr captures the real meaning of "imposter" as he relates this false self to our :shadow Self." Many of us have fallen into the trap of believing our shadow (false self, ego, imposter…) and we have paid dearly for buying into the illusion.

Search your heart and live the truth of who you are. Even though our true self is flawed and wounded, the truth cannot fall out from under us. We can finally stand on solid ground and discover that indeed, “the truth has set us free.”

SHADOWLAND

In the second half of life, we have been in regular unwelcome contact with the shadow self, which gradually detaches us from our not-so-bright personas that we so diligently constructed in the first half of life. Our “stage mask” (persona in Greek) is not bad, evil, or necessarily egocentric; it is just not “true.” It is manufactured and sustained unconsciously by our mind; but it can and will die, as all fictions must die.

Person and shadow are correlative terms. Your shadow is what you refuse to see about yourself, and what you do not want others to see. The more you have cultivated and protected a chosen persona, the more shadow work you will need to do. Be especially careful therefore of any idealized role or self-image, like that of minister, mother, doctor, nice person, professor, moral believer, or president of this or that. These are huge personas to live up to, and they trap many people in lifelong delusion. The more we are attached to and unaware of such a protected self-image, the more shadow self we will likely have. Conversely, the more we live out of our shadow self, the less capable we are of recognizing the persona we are trying to protect and project. It is like a double blindness keeping you from seeing—and being—your best and deepest self. As Jesus put it: “If the lamp within you is, in fact, darkness, what darkness there will be”

Richard Rohr

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Success and Failure

Remind me that failure is the experience that precedes triumph. Teach me that forgiving is most important in the strong and that revenge is the most primitive sign in the weak. If you take away my success, let me keep my strength to succeed from failure. If I fail people, give me courage to apologize and if people fail me, give me courage to forgive them. God, if I forget you, please do not forget me.

Gandhi

As someone who has succeeded and failed and landed everywhere in-between, Gandhi’s words spoke to me this morning. Be kind, be forgiving, be merciful and walk humbly with your God.

Lord please keep me “right-sized” so that I might place my life in your hands and experience your grace in my greatest failures. At the same time don’t let me ever escape the wonder and truth of being your beloved, or as John might say, “The disciple that Jesus loved.” - connie


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Loving Well

Following Jesus means letting go of our judgments, embracing humility and our humanity in order to see through the eyes of God’s love.

Humanity around and within

It's a slippery slope, letting go of the lines that divide, seeing people different from yourself as human. Let the walls that make me an "us" and they a "them" crumble, and there is a world of humanity to love. No longer can you ignore the vulnerability, the humanity, the absolute sinner and saint in all of us. No longer can you push others aside or arbitrarily categorize them.

Confronted by the humanity around us, we confront the humanity within us and expose our collective brokenness. We come face to face with the things we are capable of, for ill or good. We lose the ability to hide behind our self-righteousness or be cozy in our carefully constructed boxes of absolutism and superiority.

Anna Woofenden

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