Come Lord Jesus

Lord Jesus, master of both the light and the darkness,
send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas.
We who have so much to do seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day.
We who are anxious over many things look forward to your coming among us.
We who are blessed in so many ways long for the complete joy of your kingdom.
We whose hearts are heavy seek the joy of your presence.
We are your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking the light.
To you we say, "Come Lord Jesus!" Amen.

from the Catholic Family Prayer Book, published by Our Sunday Visitor, 2001.


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Just Passing Through

Kerry’s dad is in the final stage of his life. Hospice is involved and he is slowly making his way to the other side. While talking to my grandsons, we’ve been trying to explain to them that Ray will not be alive much longer. I’ve used words like dying and death to communicate what’s happening to him. Almost daily one of the kids asks me is KK’s dad dead yet? They follow that with, Mimi will you be dead when I’m a teenager? Though their questions sound harsh to me, it’s simply how they are trying to process death at ages 6 and 7.

Coincidentally, I was reading a blog today that talked about life and death as one event. They used a term I most commonly hear in Black churches or from some of my older black friends. Rather than declaring a final “death” they simply say he/she has passed. As a person of faith who believes that life on earth is simply a part of my life, and short in comparison, what a wonderful way to describe the mystery of passing from living in human form into God’s presence in the heavenly realms (whatever that might look like). What a great teaching moment for my grand-kids as we talk about “passing through” rather than something so final as death. Of course the body dies but that’s only the container. I wonder what my new container will look like in heaven. I’m counting on it looking thin! Sorry, I digress.

As I think about Ray today, it is much easier to celebrate the joy of his eminent passing, even though we will experience the loss of his presence with us. I love knowing my Mom and Dad, Mark, Jean Ann, Barney and others have passed into the better side of life.

One last note… without any prompting, on the way to school this morning, Ben looked at me and said,

Mimi, I hope KK’s dad dies peacefully.

How precious and real are these little ones.


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Amy Grant Strikes Again

I was listening to some music today as I working on my computer. An old song came on Pandora. It’s an Amy Grant song entitled Doubly Good to You. As only music can, my heart immediately flashed back to a place when I thought about Jesus much more than I do today. How wonderful those early years were with my love affair with Jesus. My abandonment into His care changed my life, every day.

As I’ve gotten older my spiritual roots have grown deep into the soil of God’s rich love and grace. I am more mature in my faith. But should “maturity” eliminate the experience of that feeling in my heart that is indescribably connected to the God who loves me? Perhaps it’s like growing old with a spouse or partner. The early days of falling in love are euphoric, but as the years go by love deepens and pain strangely solidifies true love. But too many of us neglect the passion we once felt and the feeling in our hearts that couldn’t be restrained.

My dear friends Barnie and Doris, who were like parents to me, taught me about mature love and deep passion. They faced numerous challenges in their lives and they walked through pain hand in hand. Married over fifty years, not a day went by where they didn’t stop the other in the hall and share a kiss or long embrace. Numerous times a day they took the time to look into each other’s eyes and tell each other how dearly they were loved. It’s no surprise they loved Jesus the same way. Both of them would tear up as they described God’s goodness in their lives. They served God faithfully and passionately. Barnie recently passed away and in a packed church in Tulia Texas two things were said over and over; “Barnie loved Jesus and Barnie loved Doris.” What a great legacy!

So today, as I read about changes in the church, a new culture of people who are seeking faith in different places and as I examine where I fit in to this theological discussion, I am taking a few precious moments to close my eyes and bask in the arms of my greatest love.

What about you?
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Brennan Manning - April 27, 1934 – April 12, 2013

My mentor, my friend and the man who helped me experience myself as “The Beloved” is finally free. There are two people in my life who taught me the real meaning of grace, Bill Counts and Brennan Manning. Bill changed my experience of the grace of God and put me on a spiritual path that totally changed the trajectory of my life. He also taught me how to extend grace to others and how to develop communities of grace. Then, in 1995 Brennan Manning wrote about and modeled an intimate picture of God’s radical grace for me personally; and that gift molded my life, saved my life and changed hundreds of others lives’ who have been involved in our work through Barnabas. It is the reality that God is simply crazy about me and the “relentless tenderness of God” that continues to be the truth that I stand on when I believe I am unworthy and unlovable. Brennan put it this way,

“Do you believe that the God of Jesus loves you beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity; that He loves you in the morning sun and the evening rain; that He loves you when your emotions refuse it and your whole being rejects it? Do you believe that God loves without condition or reservation, and He loves you this moment as you are, not as you should be?”

The first book I read by Brennan was Abba’s child. It is the most significant piece of literature I have in my library. I’ve read it over and over again and still cannot take in all the depth of its meaning. After the life changing impact from Abba’s Child, I read every book written by Brennan Manning.

Having been seduced by Brennan’s writing, I ask him to speak at a Women’s retreat. To my great surprise he said yes! Through the years he also agreed to lead a silent retreat and speak at other events. He spent time with me telling me the truth about how God views me. One afternoon I sat across from Him and confessed my deepest fears about life and about myself. He took my hands, looked me in the eyes and said, “Abba loves you perfectly, as you are. There is nothing you can do, nothing you can say, that can make God love you more or make God love you less.” I believed him.

Brennan also taught me about prayer. He taught me to breathe in with the word, “Abba” and breathe out the phrase, “I belong to you.” So when the dark voices of my mind tell me I am unworthy, when my life is falling apart, when I think it might be time to check myself in, I stop and simply breathe, “Abba, I belong to you.” With each breath I come again into the presence of the one who calls me His beloved.

If you know anything about Brennan you know that he struggled with alcohol addiction and other behaviors that hurt the people he loved. But that never kept him from believing and accepting God’s love and redemption… over and over again. It was his inability to conquer his demons that brought him to leave us with the profound message “All is Grace.”



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